Professor Gargamel

I took a Drawing I course in college back in 2000. I needed one more elective class and figured this would be a good way to learn how to draw. The professor insisted that he would grade us according to our skill level. I talked to him after class, told him I really had no skill level, that I was a beginner, and he assured me not to worry. One month later, I had to drop the course.

I don’t remember his real name, but his nickname came about due to his work as a cartoonist for The Smurfs back in the early eighties. We often arrived in class each morning to find different Smurf characters sketched out on the chalkboard. The man was a bit of an egocentric. He was also a horrible teacher. Early on in the course, he made us sit in front of a mirror and sketch out a self-portrait. We then had to present them to the class. I remember him laughing at mine (and a few others) as he walked by our easels.

His favorite task was posing in front of the classroom and having us “draw me now.” Every five minutes or so he’d change poses. “Draw me now…draw me now…draw me now.” Unable to keep up, I put my pencil down and looked around the room at my peers. A few of their easels portrayed a graying older man with his hand on his hip and devil horns on his head, a trend that quickly spread each time he vogued.

The final straw came when we were given an assignment to do a chalk sketch of one of the classics. I chose Rembrandt’s Elephant. I spent the entire weekend drawing that elephant. It was the best bit of art I had ever created. After a week of anticipating a fairly decent grade for the assignment, Professor Gargamel gave me a “C” citing that it was too simplistic. I suppose Smurfs are more complex than they appear. It was the best I could do, and the course work would only get harder from that point forward. So, with my GPA hanging in the balance, I packed up my stuff, dropped the course, and gave up sketching anything for a very long time. One bad teacher can ruin you for a lifetime.

My journey into watercolor painting has been hit or miss (mostly miss), but I thoroughly enjoy it, and I don’t plan on being graded by some evil sorcerer this time around.

To Professor Gargamel

October 25, 2000, Moon Journal

It is reassuring to know that I have not become unaffected by adversity. I would hate to think that I already lost intensity in my early twenties. Raw emotions are vital when pursuing a career in the arts. Whether positive or negative, these sensations are brought on by inspiration and invited into existence at will. Without such sentiments, meaning is unattainable and the creation of art is useless. To place a grade on perfection is arbitrary; perfection can metamorphose itself into a decorated collage of mistakes and mishaps making room for improvement. Perfection is contaminated when taken a step further, yet contamination can be used as medicine for flaws gently creeping towards their perfection.